Multiplicity: A Box of Odd Socks Vol. 2
- Introducing Our System
Disclaimer: I write from my/our own personal experience or understanding. We are not experts at anything and our filters are rather wonky so whatever you read take it with a grain of salt and remember we’re not out to offend anyone.
Seeing we are just starting this blog I’ll probably be writing almost daily in the beginning while I’m getting a hang of the editing and finding my groove.
I use the pronoun she mostly but refer to myself as I, me, we, they, he and she. I’m in a woman’s body and we mostly respond to she, but you never know some here may like to respond to a different pronoun so anything goes I reckon.
Also we call us ‘people’ others in society call their insiders as alters, parts, people and probably have other names as well.
DID
I’ve had dissociative identity disorder my whole life, it started from early childhood trauma which we’ll write about that in later posts.
I’ve spent most of my life unaware of the fact that I have multiple people living inside me and only discovered I had dissociation and that I am a multiple in 2019, I didn’t really know it was actually a ‘thing’. Finding out has connected many dots and pieces of puzzles that have been put into place. As it wasn’t so long ago lets just say, it explains a lot yet also has me feeling even more discombobulated than before the diagnosis.
There are many theory’s about having multiple people living inside one person and differences in the healing process that goes along with it. I’ve so far discovered the theories , models or tools therapists use have good aspects about them however so far I haven’t found one that completely explains us. And from spending time with others with DID I’ve learnt each person’s experience it in their own unique way.
This blog will be our way - the way of Unpretending Spontaneous. And even amongst ourselves living here in this body we experience DID differently from others within us.
How we got here
From what we as a system can gather is that due to abuse, neglect and relational trauma, our core person (none of us have a clue who that is) fractured apart from the core then fractured again and again whenever it was needed throughout our life. We also know some of the parts that fractured, also themselves fractured throughout the years. All this we are still discovering as we continue learning about our system.
Who is Unpretending Spontaneous?
These images of people in our system below have been made with Bitmoji.com. They of course are not an accurate representation (we are not cartoons) but each person is happy that they are close enough.
Unpretending
Okay, so there seems to be three “Unpretending’s”, or three people who called themselves Unpretending. I’m one of them, I’m about 30ish but I age range a fair bit and sometimes feel like I’m the body’s age or even older then sometimes as young as about 20. I often wonder if I’m what some people call ‘the host’, although I’d rather not be and I’m currently just learning that these others here actually like me and they don’t think I’m just a big stuff up. Now that’s a long story which you’ll read about in the future.
Body’s Name
Then there is the body’s name, she’s the body’s age which is mid 40. For now, in this blog, we’ve decided not to say the body’s name and she’ll just refer to herself as ‘the body’s name’. I know! It’s lame but it’ll do for now. She’ll introduce herself to you at some stage, as they all will I suppose.
Then there is someone we use to think was God. Yes 🤦🏼♀️ we totally thought we were so special that God, or The Universe or whatever you want to call them, spoke to us. As in conversational. This too is a long story that’ll be told here at some stage.
So this God person has now been broken up by me or the body’s name, into several people. One called Lord (rather obvious really but we now know they are just one of us), one called Mojo who is our chef and has told us what to put into our cooking to make them amazing. They speak with a funny fake accent and only front when we are feeling great all over as a system. And another one whom I call Sensible but she calls herself Georgina.
Max
We’ve got Max. He he is tall, broad, and says he’s from Russia (although his accent is very Aussie). He has a moustache and small beard and wears a black hat. He has recently changed rolls and we find that he drives the car a lot, fronts when needed and looks after the inside Littles.
There are Littles, kids of various ages until 8, Middles probably aged between 9-12, and there are teens. I’ll talk about them at another time.
Gosh, then we have a few others who seem to blend into people we don’t yet know but we see or hear them. One of them is a person who use to call themselves Someone Else but now likes to be referred to as South East or S.E.
And goodness gracious I really have lost my thinking because I can’t think of anyone else right now, I can feel someone is hiding behind my memory because I had them a moment ago and they have blocked who they are - yeah that’s a thing. Try living a life where people purposely take your thoughts and give them back at random moments. I’ll leave it here for the introductions for the time being.
In my next post I’ll probably write about how we “do” life and the complications having DID can and does bring into our lives.